My September article in the Sovereign Magazine. My photojournalism work in New York City included a visit to Ground Zero. Below is the full article and the summary is contained in the magazine.
We all know what happened on September 11th 2001. Wherever we were, we all saw those images, the videos, the live newsfeeds, the audios as it happened, the looks on the faces of people on the screen as well as the people around us.
Those images were etched in my mind since the day it happened. So, I’m sure each individual has an image or clip in the heads of the 911 attack. Mine wasn’t the planes entering the buildings or the fireball that ensued thereafter, but it was the individuals that were making a deadly choice. To stay and suffer the consequences of being in a burning building or to jump. Either way the fate was the same, but the decision had to be made. That’s what was stuck in my mind all these years and the terror, the sheer terror of such a decision.
In later years, survivors from the twin towers gave their account of the day as it unfolded. If I thought the images of the falling people were enough then the testimonial of one of the survivors made the images more compelling and vivid if that was possible. He talked about the miracle of his escape and his ignorance of what was going on. He said as he was making his way down, but before reaching the stairs he walked towards to windows in an office to try and gain some incite into what was going on. He saw a woman on the other side of the window, it was a fleeting glance, but to him, it felt like things were slowed down. Their eyes met and he was wondering what she was doing there. He later discovered that she was one of the jumpers, she was one of those who made that decision to take control. Her final control in an uncontrollable situation was to jump and avoid the flames. Presumably her last sight of a human was the man and heaven knows what her thoughts were for the 10 seconds or so as she feel to her death.
I have seen the documentary of ‘The Falling Man’. Such a heart-wrenching documentary that even now, as I write this column I am reliving the feeling I had through the whole documentary – a total sense of hopelessness and the question why.
I had planned a visit to New York and was determined, with my capacity as a photojournalist, to change the images I have had in my head since 2001. Now it was time to make new images that represented the lessons learned from 911 and reverse the negative and forlorn images I have had. The images were going to convey a picture of hope, rather than hopelessness, fortitude rather than faint-heartedness and tenacity rather than irresolution. I just wanted to see peace in a place where I saw immeasurable carnage. A visit to ground zero and the memorial was in order. Now here I was taking back control of how I am going to remember New York and how I’m going to think about New York going forward.
Little did I know that this would be my generation’s ‘Where were you when Kennedy was shot?’ question.
You know, this question is always asked when people talk about 911 – “Where were you when 911 happened” It was such powerful event that people on a global scale misremembered the weather conditions of where they were and somehow meshed the weather conditions of their location with that of New York on that Tuesday morning. In New York, the story always start with “It began like any other day” It was a lovely September sunny morning, the sky was blue and everything was regular. I was based in the UK-London at the time and it too was a normal work day, but the weather was dull, autumnal and wet.
We’ve all got vivid stories about what we were doing and where we were when we saw this immeasurable tragedy unfold. It was a story like no other, but let me briefly tell you mine.
It was a work day, I was at work in Deloitte and Touche at my desk writing a report. It was the lunchtime period or just thereafter. Someone turned the Television monitor on in the open-planned office. Odd I thought as it was still normal working hours and why on earth was the TV monitor on with a bad ‘action movie’ showing. The screen had a constant image, it was showing the same image for a long time. I was some distance from the sound so was wondering about the fascination with this ‘movie’. A crowd started to gather beneath the monitor. It was high up and allowed for people some distance, including me, to see the screen as well as see the people watching below.
Curiosity got the better of me, had to go over and take a look before going back to my report, which incidentally was progressing well. So I thought I’d ‘treat’ myself to walk over and take a look and see what was animating my colleagues so much and importantly why no one senior switched the Television off. Then I saw.
My initial reaction was what incompetent pilot would be allowed to fly an airplane anyway near these high-rise buildings and to hit the most visible building in that airspace. We all thought it must be some rich spoilt ‘fraternity boy’ who only got his license and wanted to impress someone, but lost control of the plane. Our thoughts then turned to the people inside the building and we were feeling it for them. Is this really happening? Look at the enormity of the work ahead for the firemen today. Some discuss the old movie The Tower Inferno with Paul Newman and Steve McQueen as well as talked about the possibility of the pilot laws being changed as a result. How innocent we were.
Something black was approaching, not all of us noticed it. To be honest, I didn’t. Most not sure what it was – or couldn’t believe what is was. There was bang followed by an enormous ball of flames that snapped us right out of our trance to realise this was no accident. This was intentional. This was REAL.
Then we scrambled to get onto phones to call people, friends, loved ones, anyone we knew that worked there across the pond.
In less than 30 minutes we turned from a comfortable juvenile bunch of corporate individuals looking at what we thought was a grave error of an inexperienced amateur pilot to hit one of the world trade towers to a very frightened, confused and bewildered group of individuals who wanted to make sure OUR loved ones, friends, family and anyone we knew were safe and away from the carnage that was unfolding. It was an unexplainable day for all of us.
One eye still on the monitor, we had stopped what we had planned to do for that day and instead we were panicking and asking ourselves why.
The South Tower Collapsed. Eerie gasped around the open-planned office could be heard, by that time many monitors were on. Then everything was slow motion. No one said a word. Disbelief and fear.
I don’t know how long I sat there watching the screen, but it was a long time. No gasps for the second North Tower, when it fell. In that short space of time nothing more could astonish us. We were spent.
I don’t think I even registered the jumpers until watching footage later. There was no room to digest it as it was happening live. No adjective in the English language could possible describe that day in the office. All I can see in front of me, on the screen, were the remaining silhouette buildings of lower Manhattan engulfed in a greyish-brown cloud of smoke and debris that once was the twin towers. Our thoughts were now on how many lives must have been lost as a result. We couldn’t fathom it.
I have had those memories for 18 years now and it was time to make new memories. My life and career had changed in the intervening years and now I can take control of the images that I will to be etched in my mind when I think of New York.
The first day in New York was a visit to Ground Zero. Just getting there, the whole journey was surreal. I wasn’t sure how I’d react or how I’d feel just being there right at the location of this disastrous event. Funnily enough, it was a lovely sunny day, blue skies and not too hot. I have been to New York many times before Sept 11th but not since. It has always and still will be my favourite city in the world. It was the scene of one of the worst day in American history and yet it brought out the best of America and its people. New York is unique with an urgent sense of living and living to the max. No other city in the world holds that for me. It is my long love affair with the city.
Now, back to Ground Zero in 2019, here I was. Right in the middle of it. There was a lot of New York noise, a lot of tourist taking pictures, talking to one another, reading the engraved names of the fallen and debating the whole tragedy. It hadn’t escaped my attention that right here, where I was standing amongst the tourist, 18 years ago was a very different view, smell, atmosphere and reality. All I could see though was a beautiful day, a lovely poignant memorial, happy smiling people, animated conversations, sombre individuals paying their respects, New York noise and colours, lots of it. Every face from across the globe could be seen here. Everyone knows the story and know the loss. Of course it was hell 18 years ago and I couldn’t help but have that time-travel moment while I was there. It was time to get back to the now and to leave the past in the past. Make new images. So, what was I seeing?
Words like respect, togetherness, cherish and peace came to mind. I wanted to capture that. I was there, new images were being processed in my mind, positive images and wonderful poignant compositions were taken. These will be my new images, these will remain. For that period I was respecting the fallen, felt a sense of togetherness with the world tourists that were there; we all were cherishing our visit, cherishing the moment and importantly felt at peace. New York was my New York again – sanguine, full of life, spirited, vibrant, bright and idiosyncratic. You just cannot keep a city like that down. ‘New York, New York so good they named it twice ‘- Gerard Kenny. Who wouldn’t agree with that.
Now I was confident that my next visit to New York will not be so unnerving, more a refuelling experience that provides me with the energy like no other.
Don’t believe me, read it from world leaders and people who lost someone in this tragedy. You cannot break New York, America even, spirit. There are two quotes, however, that I need to make note of here. The first by the late Sandy Dahl who tragically lost her husband Jason Dahl, the pilot of Flight 93; and the second the ex president of the United States, President Barack Obama.
“If we learn nothing else from this tragedy, we learn that life is short and there is no time for hate.” —Sandy Dahl.
As we are in the 18th year of the attack on September 11th, let’s take a moment to reflect on how the world has changed. Before my visit, I had yearned for the innocent years before 911, but at the same time grateful for what it has taught me. ‘Life is transient. 911 awakened the humanity in many of us. We were side by side and mourned with people that we didn’t even know, never met and will continue to do so. It also taught me to make bold decisions and have no regrets. Understand real love and importantly show it. Don’t sweat the small stuff or fake people. Hold your nearest and dearest very close and always appreciate them for being in and enriching your life’ – My Lessons from 911.
Here is something we can all easily do and succinctly put:
“Even the smallest act of service, the simplest act of kindness, is a way to honour those we lost, a way to reclaim that spirit of unity that followed 9/11.” —President Barack Obama
Read it here on the Sovereign Magazine Website as well as the printed version released in the Sept/Oct Edition of the magazine.
Recent Comments